As of December 2012, I am a mother of 3 children who are beautiful, funny, frustrating and exhausting. I often wonder how I can find them so amusing in one moment and so defiant in the next?!? Yet, they are mine and I love them dearly. I guess because I didn’t have a true reference point, I could not truly comprehend how much work 3 children can be when other mothers told me about how much work it is to care for 3 children. It’s not like 2 was easy!!
I am sharing my perspective here about what my life feels like now that I have 3 monkeys to love and entertain. Despite the fact that I am a Psychologist, I am a mother first and the emotional side of me takes over what I know to be true and good.
When you go on a vacation, it’s not really a vacation. It’s more like a distraction…
For 4th of July week, my family and I have been vacationing in Ocean City, New Jersey. For the entire week before we leave, I keep three suitcases open and fill them up with all the little things that I think we’ll need. My 7 month old’s suitcase was the largest despite the fact that he’s the smallest one of us all! Between the feedings, naps and changes, it didn’t feel like much of a vacation for me or my husband. It felt like we packed up all of our belongings ( I don’t think there was much left at home) and lived elsewhere for a week. It was more like a distraction from our home. It was a great vacation… for our children!
You are now officially outnumbered… and your children know this…
Once upon a time, you had two hands to accommodate two children. Now, I have 2 hands and one child that needs to be carried in one arm leaving me with one hand and two legs. My 7 year old and 4 year old are now mischief partners. They whisper to each other and create a plan on how they are going to do the very thing I’ve said they shouldn’t do while I’m changing my 7 month olds diaper or feeding him. And what am I to do? Well, hope that they are cooperative and using really good team work, of course!
The circus now has more acts…
Yes, life feels like a continuous circus act with popcorn, cotton candy, music, and lights. Sounds very exciting and over-stimulating as well. I’ve threatened to change my name to Giggles or Bubbles in place of mommy, but I wasn’t going to tell my children! A little mystery is good for developing higher level thinking, you know! Just when I think that I have a handle on where everyone is and what they are doing, they change things up. They go outside, downstairs, or upstairs. Two eyes for three children – I think I need another eye on the backside of my body to give me an advantage and edge to keep up with them!
Motherhood has taught me more about how much I can truly accomplish, how efficient I can be, how focused I have to be in one day. If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be catching vomit in one hand while trying to break up a fight, I would have laughed… out loud! But, I think if I can keep my sanity and raise three well adjusted children, I deserve a glass of wine! Cheers to me and all the mothers of three or more children!
About the Author:
Dr. Liz Matheis is a clinical psychologist and school psychologist in Parsippany, NJ who provides assessment, psychotherapy, consulting, and advocacy for children and families managing autism spectrum disorders, ADHD and learning disabilities (www.psychconsult.weebly.com). She is also a contributor to several popular press magazines.
